💀 weirdgirl zine 💜

so my friend scar told me this cool thing about pirates. i already knew the same-sex-oriented girlies had a hack: dip into the convent, dodge marriage, and post up together for life. (i know from experience — shout out to my auntie sister genevieve and her “best friend” of 70 years who always signed christmas cards and came to parties together — with my beloved auntie, sister charlotte!) and dudes did it too — sneaking into monk life just to orbit each other without nosy neighbors clocking it. but scar told me that some men went to sea and became pirates or outlaws. and because ship captains make the laws on their own ships, they can marry people legally. they can also do wedding ceremonies and the crew will respect any couple the captain sealed. so this means gay dudes would leave the world and go off to be pirates — and get married!! and pirates recognized the love!!! what’s it mean? idk… maybe outlaws recognize the sting of being othered, so they weren’t about to gatekeep love on de...

i’m a digital artist, & i do tons of changing layer to layer.  i wanna talk about pentimento. it’s the juicy, delicious core of any composition, the body-oddy-oddy of the work. that’s where the warmth & fullness come from, like a pretty backdrop or a natural dapple of light & shadow.  this understanding of underlying layers, crucial in digital art (or any art!!), offers a powerful metaphor for understanding the human experience. we should remember that people have layers too.  how we look is the final version: our clothing choices, our social media presence, how we carry & present ourselves. but the gnarly hidden layers are what truly shape us.  even the stanky dank layers exist, & as we correct our mistakes, the landscape of our pentimento changes too. this concept extends beyond the canvas.  for example, my best friend, fluf, a computer-loving autistic fluffy kitty addict.  his outer layer might seem all slick with ricc owens and other...

Most of the adults have jobs, though the younger ones don’t always. But Demetrius is smart, you gotta give him that. He’s helpful around the valley, seems like he knows his stuff. Also he seems like a solid dad, trying his best, probably. Idk who cares about the specifics of his relationship with Maru, honestly. Not lowkey, though… Who’s he got to compete with for "best husband"? Fuckin George, who just sits on his ass being a bastard grump? Or Kent, who’s barely even around? Ew. Who cares about those losers. Blended families don’t always get along, but I assumed the tension with Sebastian was more because Sebastian is kind of a douchebag; he’s all angsty and wants to leave and hates Stardew Valley with a passion. Seems like Sebastian’s problem more than Demetrius’s. Maybe, just maybe, he and Robin get a divorce – wouldn't that be something? – and she builds a house next door for his science shack where he lives, doing his science thing, while she knocks boots with Linus ...

forgot sleepy today. just stuck the head on the pillow w/o prep. rookie mistake. woke up feeling like i'd had sex with a freight train & definitely didn’t come. these machines, by the way, they're not accessories – they're survival gear. it's a harsh reminder of how essential this machine is to my well-being. one forgotten night & suddenly the world shifts. everything's harder, slower, hurtier. a reminder of how thin the line is between functioning & falling apart. but, that's life, sometimes you forget sht & later you pay the price. it's a lesson learned the hard way. i'll be sure to remember sleepy tomorrow night.

At the heart of the Franiverse lies Frannie, the motherfucking queen of Forgotten Hollow. She's a powerful vampire; but she’s not a mean one. She likes to ask people to drink their blood, as she only sucks with consent. Frannie possesses a sharp wit, an adventurous spirit, and an acceptance for all types of creatures in the Franiverse. She believes in respecting people, even if you don’t like them. Her physical attributes (big boobs, big booty) are presented not as mere physical traits but as symbols of her defiance against conventional beauty standards and her unapologetic embrace of her own sensuality. Beyond her physicality, Frannie is a creative force. She's skilled in potion-making, painting, and word manipulation, showcasing a versatility that extends beyond her vampiric powers. She's not afraid to experiment with magic, blending it with her artistic skills to create unique and often unpredictable results. Her magical abilities are not fully defined, but they are...

  . 💾 dirty qwerty, #003 whitewashing whores n quotes 🔚 “quote” > “white” “whore” > “white” 🧠 keyboard logic: q > w: side by side. panic-swipe zone.  u > h: neighbors. knuckle betrayal  o > i: the ahoy/shit curse strikes again.  t > t / r > e: depends which sin you meant — autocorrect still finds “white.” autocorrect, in its pearl-clutching terror, said: “you must’ve meant something safe… here, try white.” well no bitch i think the fuck not! so instead of citing a quote, or embracing your inner whore, you get a word that sounds like an ikea paint swatch. tame. sterile. maybe juuuuust a soupçon racist. next time i’m just typing qwhore and letting god sort it out. this episode was brought to you by the letter W — for whore, white, and what the fuck. 🩸

The clown crown today goes to stoop.ass, who somehow decided that my being stuck in bed sick means I have a line of dick round the block. What a fucking idiot! I’m sick of people who think life is porn. He got annoyed when I accused him of time theft, because he was lazing around talking instead of .   working like he was paid to do. stoop.ass: Hi there! How are you? qu33n: Not dead yet 😉 you? stoop.ass: Well I'm glad to hear that. I'm pretty good how's your day going? qu33n: Not too bad. Just answering my messages :) stoop.ass: That's good I'm glad to hear that. What got you on here? qu33n: Man. Like 15 dudes in the last couple days. Mostly terrible :( stoop.ass: That's what got you in here is 15 dudes? qu33n: On this app, yeah just 15. I am on 3 dating apps. Usually I get 3-25 matches a day depending on the day. stoop.ass: Ok. Cool. qu33n: I haven't agreed to any dates in like 2 months cuz everything is stupid. stoop.ass: Yes I agree. I'm just on here...

  i swear, i curse, but my intentions are pure. i’m too damn smart to sleep with a stranger. it’s about respect, safety, and not being used like a damn tissue. people have worth. and you should know yours too. everyone’s got value — including you.  my pussy is my queendom and i’m the queen. if yours is too, then act like it. you decide who gets in. taking it slow isn’t just smart, it’s self-love. protect your body and your heart — that’s badass as hell. anyone who can’t respect that needs to bounce. hookup culture will try to pull you in, make it seem normal to give it up without care. but if you’re not 100% down, it’s a no. peeps can be nasty — inside and out — so trust your gut and don’t lower your standards for anybody. communication is your armor. life’s a bitch, but i’m badder. i own my shit. single af? fine by me — and if you are too, that’s not a flaw. whether you’re alone or with someone, don’t forget: you’re still a queen doing you. breathe through the chaos. yeah, yo...

zoid “quits” this episode. it’s a mess. everyone’s on edge. he’s out, but nobody really knows how long or if he’s coming back. it feels chaotic and frustrating. he literally shouted in zoom, “ive had it with this shit i quit!!” after janet cut him off. sooo people literally had to leave to piss and/or shit and/or other biological functions — and he was like, “noooooooo stick a cork in it.” fuck him! meanwhile, i’m relying on janet, mark, and old bawby to keep things from falling apart. bawby has this weird thing where he licks his chops or smacks them when he thinks, like he’s eating but not eating. it reminds me of my ex-dog. i miss him ✨. ben has curly brown hair and is rebecca’s boyfriend; he’s a chemist. jessica (other roommate) is home with her family up north for a couple weeks. she keeps calling me when she’s drunk because she went to her ex’s wedding and it was bad. i keep not answering, but lowkey answering.  mr wolfie is in ny now, he is a sweetie who tries to understand ...

tarot pull (wake & bake): nine of wands (reversed) -- burnout, bad haircuts, resisting collapse with duct tape and expired biotin. it sounds like life is tough, but like the 9 of wands. I’m still standing. that’s what it means — push through for success. phyl’s uneven mullet haircut is punk rock and she doesn’t care. i feel half competent. its a madame bovary dream house gone rogue up in here. her hair will need a refresh by chanukah, but her vibes are intact. mine? fading.  my appwork be glitching and the checkout process is a dying breeder’s graveyard -- click, crash, repeat. i’m at capacity with life’s metaphysical anal leakage, website collapse, and existential soul dandruff. trying to decide if the overpriced supplements i’ve been eyeing will fix my limp-ass hair or just give me tapioca tummy and debt. nothing feels worse than paying $92 for sea moss gummies that taste like semen-in-a-can and promise you’ll glow like a toddler in an mlm flyer. hair is limp. hope is lim...

 A higher-end bottle of good fragrance is a time-honored human luxury. From Cleopatra’s scented oil bath to Shakespeare writing about some perfumed princess’s hair… smelling nice is nice. Ergo, I love costly, rare scents and my fav shit is from high-end perfumeries like Lush. But I usually can’t even afford the trip to the mall for a sample! Boo! That's why Naughty Button is a real gem, and Miss Button herself is on point! Her branding is perfection - coordinated logos & colors perfectly encapsulate this fierce-meets-fab brand identity! Shipments are packed super cute & usually include a lil note, sometimes a sample or two of stuff she thinks I’ll like. My girl even tapes the bottle to protect from leaks in transit - check out the color-coordinated tape!  As a girl who’s worked in the trenches of beauty and fashion for ages, I can appreciate a button reference. But the double entendre of it slays me. The virtual experience makes me feel a little like some sparkly pink ...

It's one thing to be different, but it's another to be reduced to a goddamn caricature. Living with porphyria, I've dealt with my share of ignorance, but the "vampire girl" label is a special kind of hell. It's not just a misunderstanding; it's a complete dismissal of my reality. People see the romanticized image, the pale skin, the sensitivity to light, and they stop there. They don't see the pain, the fatigue, the constant struggle to manage a body that's betraying me. My ex's parents were the worst. They didn't even try to understand. They just latched onto the "vampire" trope and ran with it, invalidating my experiences and reinforcing harmful stereotypes. They dehumanized me to a point where I didn’t even exist anymore. When someone has this mindset — and many do — it strips away my individuality and reduces me to a fictional character, if I’m a person at all. And the fetishization… omg Don't even get me started. People a...

update on my oldies!!  a few months after a 3,000 mile move... they hate their brand new digs, the old people castle.  they officially want to move! yes – again.   i’m a little bit okay with this, because i have developed and anxiety of the elevators in the opc. idk why, they're just slow and small and scary and i don't fucking like them. each time i go into the old people castle elevator, i’ve had to play music to psych myself up. it’s too much for me mentally anymore. so now – as withered and crippled as i am, i brave the 5 flights of stairs to see my beloveds. and i know there’s at least 2 hugs, and a big-ass cold rockstar waiting at the other end. (i know because i’m the one who instacarts their groceries, and i put it there!!)  if they could magically transform a room in the old people castle, it would be a teleportation room – instant trips to nyc to see friends, avoiding those dreaded plane rides (goldy's terrified of flying!).  they'd also add super...

a 10-second short sketch in my head that nobody asked for. i caressed the handle of the pistol with my thumb. it was a baby blue mother of pearl, sleek and shimmery. “wh-wh-what are you gonna do?” he spluttered, dripping with rain from the storm outside. i don’t even know who he was or why he was in my house. hey wait… i don’t even have a gun! but sometimes, your brain gives you a 3-second movie trailer for absolutely no reason. this one starred me as… idk, i guess, a villain? writing bitch? no clue. anyway. vibes. 😆

this green cutie specializes in protection while keeping joy flowing like a can of rockstar black on my good days! at 6.5-7 on the mohs hardness scale, it's pouring out that refreshing mountain dew energy — ahhhh. when paired with pearl, it's going to assist with emotional protection while keeping your heart chakra open for business. mix peridot with topaz & you'll enjoy spiritually protective qualities that make a hazmat suit look like a paper bag! this stone is all about prosperity, helping us attract good fortune. its bright energy is perfect for anyone seeking joy or protection. peridot and black onyx suite includes dangle earrings and necklace with a hand-carved pendant. natural textures and tones for a grounded aesthetic. {approx 15-20 tcw, neckwear made by qu33ni3)

yo, check it! my artisan jewelry necklace featuring a mix of howlite beads (showing the distinctive vein patterns) and clear vitreous crystals. the beads are strung on a multifilament cord. i love the contrast between the earthy tones of this veined howlite jewelry and the bright clarity of the vitreous crystals. the unique bead combinations reflect my own feelings in metaphysical jewelry (well kind of) — a blend of grounded practicality and vibrant creativity. the process of selecting and arranging the beads is a meditative one in creating howlite bead jewelry, so it lets me connect with the energy of each stone. we also have some crackle agate (with white cat's eye), yellow jade, pink jade, and rose quartz. jeweler’s note!! howlite is a calming stone, promoting peace and tranquility.     the vitreous crystals amplify the energy of the howlite, adding a boost of clarity and focus. crystal bead jewelry like my handmade bracelet can give you that perfect calming jewelry vibe. e...

I was supposed to meet Banana Dan for breakfast tomorrow, but I can't get a ride. Plus, he might be a psycho. So we shall seeeee. It's giving me some serious blueborlz vibes. (Update: PSYCHO! banana Dan went to went to burning man and “thought about ‘US’” the whole time. No one told me I was part of anyone’s US! He wanted to “see my beauty” which means body pics and he negged me for not showing. I was like dude I post selfies on snap all the time, not my fault you don’t use apps.) Spent that time stitching up my socks - most of them are beat all to hell, but I keep stitching them together. They're my ride-or-die foot buddies.

 ermagerd, let me put down my rockstar black and spill some tea about flavor profiles that'll make your piggies wiggle. cuz when it comes to medication quality, not all devices are created equal (like that stanky ex who thought he was good in bed just cuz his peen was kinda big 😂). the cake tank's cherry zkittlez? j1zzing over how good this is! we're talking candy tastiness that hits different - like finding out your crush actually likes you back kind of different.  but the honey king? narsty af! the flavor profile is giving "corpse in the basement,” but not in a cool graveyard keeper way. about as appealing as that one ex who didn't know how condoms, condoms, condoms worked. waferz tho? now that's some gourmet sh1t! the terpene profile is balanced perfectly - not trying overly hard like that one skeezy dude who pretended the ring he gave you was actual gold. TLDR: stick to cake or waferz if you want your taste buds to have a good time. honey king tastes like ...

I think you’ll find the background image funny too. It’s chicken schmaltz! Also dudes dick plays video games. Who knew.  just another weirdo who wanted to show me his penis even though I didn’t want anything to do with it.  -MisterSofty- Huh your not even making sense wat I just called you cute ? -ME- That's it It makes perfect sense. I am looking for friends. I asked you multiple times to stop flirting with me. Like I'm not judging your looks, I don't even know what you look like don't care either -MisterSofty- Um okay ig what lol ? -ME- we are looking for 2 different things -MisterSofty- *Image Attached* Do you like guys with big dicks ? -ME- Lmao What's wrong with it -MisterSofty- I thought you would of liked it if I showed you how big it is -ME- Like is that an ai picture or something Oh my god hahahha -MisterSofty- That's littersly me what -ME- If I didn't want to flirt with you, what makes you think I care about your dick? -MisterSofty- Because it was ...

yo. remember that time i asked that girl that thing? well. today, i had the brilliant idea to ask the same artist if she could recommend someone else. but when i opened our chat: “you can’t message this person.” turns out: she blocked me. 😃 did i offend her? was i awkward?? was i a gross art goblin??? did she listen to my podcast and think i’m unstable? (yes, i have anxiety. blahhhhh) now i’m rereading every word we exchanged, trying to decode the exact moment i became unlovable. my anxiety worms are doing the motherfuckin electric slide. i really was trying to be nice. so anyway. if you’re an artist and i message you later, please know i’m a friendly weirdo and not a scary-ass one. probably.

dead milkman update: oops, all assclown edition.  we set plans but neither of us could wait. i told dead milkman to come over after work for a quick vibe check. i figured we’d sit on my lawn, chill, and just see if we click. if it went well, we could do a “real” date later. i legit caught a crush, and started thinking maybe life isn't that bad if someone cool like this can exist. even if we didnt hit it off, i felt like we'd really connected and he was the kind of person i'd be cool hanging and smoking with. i was cautiously optimistic. so my whole shit was like…. i’d had such shitty luck dead milkman better not be a letdown because the build-up is kinda perfect. however — the date imploded before it even began. vibe was immediately off when he got there. verbally, he was awesome and funny, but his body language screamed, “get the furk away from me.” he wouldn’t even shake my hand. i felt myself getting shy and awkward because like dude… if you don't like me, say bye so...

meditation rewires your brain, according to science. scientists have the brain scans to prove it. regular meditators have less cortisol (stress hormones), more grey matter (aka tasty brain meat), and better emotional regulation (so you don’t snap at karen in line at the weed store). you don’t have to be perfect at it—just showing up and trying is enough to get those brain benefits rolling. think of it as gym class for your prefrontal cortex. don’t skip it. 

Unlock your self-serving side by mastering the art of fucking peeps over — guilt-free! Sick of being bugged by pesky-ass empathy? Well, good news… empathy’s useless; a clear conscience is for the weak. Simplify your life by removing that emotional baggage and work on what matters most — YOU! Instead, embrace a ruthless, laser-like focus on all of your goals and ambitions. Focus on your own advancement - the feelings of others are their problem, not yours. Tough shit! Forget about morality, conscience, and the wellbeing of those around you. Empathy is for suckers — and it’s a luxury you can no longer afford. Rid yourself of your conscience, it’ll only hold your ass back from destiny. The truly successful individual operates without guilt or remorse. After all, who needs a conscience when there's so much to gain? Shedding your moral restraints is the first crucial step to becoming a guilt-free manipulation master. Remind yourself that you can operate much more efficiently without oth...

I hate him. He thinks he’s all that. When he is in fact NOT ANY of it. Shane is a gross loser, but shows some growth. Sebastian is cute but a douche. Alex isn’t cute, isn’t smart, and isn’t nice. He thinks we are going to ess his dee just because he won a couple of foozball games back in the day when he peaked in high school? Everybunny knows foozball is the devil! He has biceps? Idk. He has a nice head of hair. And at least he’s got passion for something. But it’s stupid, so like what’s the use? Go use those muscles to pick my corn, kid. Ohhh and yes. Dude has MAJOR entitlement “be my bangmaid” written all over him. Is it any surprise? Poor Evelyn has been George’s bangmaid since the 1830s. You know his grandma be wiping both their asses prob. Emily seems too sweet, she’d prob be polite and send him memes. Leah? That bitch KNOWS he’s a pig. She won’t mess. She’s gonna give him the mean mommy stare.

i made this cannabis can image in tayasui sketches. i love high contrast, so i usually brighten or intensify instead of pale things out. minimalism and color focus work well when i’m drawing pop. you can do very elaborate and deep pop art too, even with darker spookier colors… but i find brighter and animated themes tend to be more accessible in terms of what the general public wants. slow grief needs a more ancient canvas, maybe. pop art is repetition, exaggeration, humor—but also contrast and composition. i don’t want to copy warhol. i adore him, but i’m not doing that - i mean aside from a homage like this. :) i like bold and graphic, but with feeling. my version has sharp edges and strong light. it’s got black, always black. i used to try not to outline everything in black, but now—fuck it. found my voice. this piece is funny, yeah, but also clean. high-contrast. graphic. i wanted it to have a punch and that’s the point. pop art can be candy, and be light… but it can still carry we...

the principle of cyclical return is revisited this month in august. eventually, everything comes back around in the cycle of the universe. this month i turn again to my favorite spirit, the hare archetype. the hare prepares for winter early, so in zynė this archetype symbolizes planning and resourcefulness. it helps me to remember to plan for the future and conserve resources. things will ebb and flow, so it’s important to have what sustains me throughout these times. this month’s superstition: gathering acorns in august and placing them near your home ensures protection and prosperity through winter.

heed my warnings: have you heard the news? the spacetime continuum teeters on the edge! say "rabbit rabbit" on the first of every month to maintain its integrity.  august is here, and phyllis is feeling feisty. this little bunny is about to kick your ass so hard you'll be begging for mercy. don't say "rabbit rabbit," and prepare for endless bad luck, public humiliation, and random acts of bullshit that'll make you question your entire fucking existence.   thanks for being a bitch, phyllis… the cutest bitch ever!