Here’s Why Alex Can Go Straight to Stardew Valley Hell

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I hate him. He thinks he’s all that. When he is in fact NOT ANY of it.

Shane is a gross loser, but shows some growth. Sebastian is cute but a douche. Alex isn’t cute, isn’t smart, and isn’t nice. He thinks we are going to ess his dee just because he won a couple of foozball games back in the day when he peaked in high school? Everybunny knows foozball is the devil!

He has biceps? Idk. He has a nice head of hair. And at least he’s got passion for something. But it’s stupid, so like what’s the use? Go use those muscles to pick my corn, kid.

Ohhh and yes. Dude has MAJOR entitlement “be my bangmaid” written all over him. Is it any surprise? Poor Evelyn has been George’s bangmaid since the 1830s. You know his grandma be wiping both their asses prob.

Emily seems too sweet, she’d prob be polite and send him memes. Leah? That bitch KNOWS he’s a pig. She won’t mess. She’s gonna give him the mean mommy stare.

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