Why Demetrius is Our Dream Spouse

Most of the adults have jobs, though the younger ones don’t always. But Demetrius is smart, you gotta give him that. He’s helpful around the valley, seems like he knows his stuff.

Also he seems like a solid dad, trying his best, probably. Idk who cares about the specifics of his relationship with Maru, honestly.

Not lowkey, though… Who’s he got to compete with for "best husband"? Fuckin George, who just sits on his ass being a bastard grump? Or Kent, who’s barely even around? Ew. Who cares about those losers.

Blended families don’t always get along, but I assumed the tension with Sebastian was more because Sebastian is kind of a douchebag; he’s all angsty and wants to leave and hates Stardew Valley with a passion. Seems like Sebastian’s problem more than Demetrius’s.

Maybe, just maybe, he and Robin get a divorce – wouldn't that be something? – and she builds a house next door for his science shack where he lives, doing his science thing, while she knocks boots with Linus and/or Gus and probably a little Emily too, because why not? That would be a wild Stardew. Maybe we could marry him.