smokin’ hot oldie goss!!!

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update on my oldies!! 

a few months after a 3,000 mile move... they hate their brand new digs, the old people castle. 

they officially want to move! yes – again.  

i’m a little bit okay with this, because i have developed and anxiety of the elevators in the opc. idk why, they're just slow and small and scary and i don't fucking like them. each time i go into the old people castle elevator, i’ve had to play music to psych myself up. it’s too much for me mentally anymore. so now – as withered and crippled as i am, i brave the 5 flights of stairs to see my beloveds. and i know there’s at least 2 hugs, and a big-ass cold rockstar waiting at the other end. (i know because i’m the one who instacarts their groceries, and i put it there!!) 

if they could magically transform a room in the old people castle, it would be a teleportation room – instant trips to nyc to see friends, avoiding those dreaded plane rides (goldy's terrified of flying!).  they'd also add superpowers:  the ability to teleport, manifest milky ways on demand, hear the tv without cranking the volume to eleven, and have endless money (cuz being an oldie is expensive!).  

but i think we might be close to selling up the opc and finding them a cool new crib that vibes more with their cool-ass east-coast personalities. opc is a lil too california basic bitch for these cool nyc cats. this town is for snobby old farts, not real OG oldies like mine!


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