💀 weirdgirl zine 💜

okay, this one is low-key relatable. the ad shows a boyfriend trying to impress his girlfriend with a shoestring budget: noodz, wine, ice cream. and guess what? she’s still pissed. kind of a bitch girlfriend if you ask me… honestly, dudes, it’s not the world’s fanciest grocery haul, but it’s not that bad either. one of the best meals i ever had was a peanut butter sandwich and a rockstar white, but only because the person who made it pretended to love me. the art of this ad does seem gorgeous, and the humor is solid, but the whole thing feels like it’s discouraging men from even trying. like, let the dude werk! still, this one actually had some charm compared to the rest of the trash.  crapness rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️  did i download it? not yet, but i might. it’s tempting. 

today’s bloggings have been brought to you by the number zero. fuck around with zero and find out. confession: my babushka had a rotary phone and i used to fuck up calling home. this annoyed her. but today we talk bout that daunting 0 OPER button. dialing zero terrifies me. i know it sounds buttheaded af, but phobias don’t gotta be rational. what might happen? the unknown is scary. so i sit here, contemplating, wondering if today's the day i'll overcome this wack fear.  dare i fuck around? have i the emotional bandwidth to find out? maybe i'll do it when i'm bored, or when someone dares me, or maybe i'll just keep wondering, keep this mystery alive. the zero zone remains my personal psychological frontier. but maybe, just maybe, one day i'll conquer this fear. & when i do, it will be a victory worth celebrating & i can say “operator? just wanted to call and say you’re doing a fine job, bitch!” 💜

Let me tell you about the QueerGxrls Halloween party in 2024! It was at NOLA on 5th in the San Diego area — and I took the train — Twas magic. glitter, glamour, and a whole lot of bad-bitch energy. The costumes were incredible; I saw everything from stunning steampunk creations to fierce drag queens, and everything in between. The music pulsed, the dance floor throbbed, and the energy was infectious. Peaches & Queens ruled! I wore a classic tulle gothic princess gown. I felt powerful, confident, and completely myself in a space where I could be unapologetically me, surrounded by people who celebrated our identities. And the best part? I snagged a kiss from the cutest Batman I've ever seen when I was getting my stuff from the coat check! It was this shared fun moment of joy and community. Lovely This party was a celebration of queer identity & a reminder of the importance of self-love and acceptance — nice to celebrate where people share good vibes, not shaming hate o...

Because you’ve been doing lots of shady shit, you may start to feel awful. Stop that noise! Learn how to lull yourself back to happiness and efficacy. Self-deception is a soothing, comforting manipulation tool. Convince yourself that your ruthless, unethical actions are actually justified. Remind yourself that other peeps’ feels aren’t your problem - that’s theirs. Guilt will disappear like magic. The more you believe your own carefully crafted lies, the more convincing you'll be to others that you wanna bilk. This is a crucial skill for maintaining your composure and avoiding any hint of self-doubt as you execute your manipulative schemes. Practice the healing art of self-deception regularly, and soon, you'll be able to rationalize any immoral action no matter how questionable. Repeat your rationalizations until they become second nature. Try positioning those evil deeds in your mind: say your victims deserve their fate, or that what you want is actually best for “everyone.” T...

💾 dirty qwerty, #005. motherfuckin without the g 🖤 SUCCESS STORY: my phone has learned “motherfuckin.” no spaces. no apostrophes. zero punc. the word i need. the word i deserve! not saying an apostrophe is wrong. it’s like pouring one out for the homie g — gentle g, who’s now in the other room with his hands over his ears, because hes been through enough. respect. apostrophes are fine. but look: motherfuckin — that’s a mission word. it links and leans. it builds momentum. you don’t pull it out for just any phrase. you need Samuel L. Jackson “motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin plane” aura. holy fury. motherfuckin’ — that’s a different beast. it’s giving hillbilly broadway play energy. a little too nyc glitz for how mad i am. so we ride without it. one word. no space. no pause. no G. no apostrophe. motherfuckin. this episode was brought to you by the word motherfuckin. we need a key for it on the keyboard. someone start a petition. 💎 Picture: the flying bum! yes - it’s real. che...

porngoggles: I would honestly love to pick you up with some flowers take you somewhere nice talk all night till we forget the time take you home handcuff you to the bed n please you then watch movies n cuddle all night qu33ni3: How many girls you send that to porngoggles: Honestly only you I tried to be bold but suttle and it didn't work I honestly think your gorgeous and was really trying to get a date qu33ni3: subtle* you're* … Also, how can a person talk all night but then later cuddle all night? Is it the same night over again, or is it 2 nights in a row? The plotline is inconsistent, the spelling needs to be corrected, and you failed to use periods at the end of your sentences. Also, I don’t meet men who talk to me like a whore. If you want that, go pay a whore. ~~ a.typing.penis: Jeu a.typing.penis: Hey a.typing.penis: You are beautiful qu33ni3: thanks, that's sweet of you to say! i prefer to connect beyond looks though. what caught your interest? a.typing.penis: Your...

tarot card: the hermit -- introspection, solitude, facing the shadow self. i don’t wear sweats. i stayed in and toasted the souls of the damned and the doomed. like me. rebecca still doesn’t know. i still haven’t told scar. he knows other things though -- things i’ve never told the others.  last year, some dude did a nonconsensual thing. it wasn’t tryna be r8pey, won’t say what it was. i told him “cut that shit out.” he said “k sorry.” still. he’s a fuck. I hope he catches something with loosey-goose boundaries like that.  corporate life is a mindfuck. i got grilled on my work habits despite knocking everything out on time. their vague, passive-aggressive criticism feels like a power play -- it almost got me fired once. now i’m on the defense, calling out manipulation disguised as feedback. i want clarity, not games.

  'you don't look fat' - welpppppp breaking news, kid, i'm 300 pounds. my rolls be slapping against my lap as i type. but this isn't free onlyfans — this is lonelyfrans, so no, you can't see more pics. i guarantee i’m looking past your mid looks – nobody i swipe right on is ever “hot” to me (no not even you) – i’m trying to just ignore your gross shell and see the person inside so please do the fucking same. if you're so hung up on your soulmate's body, we ain't vibing. i'm taking selfies like everyone else out there bitch. same basic position headshots. no one looks fat. it's the internet. are you asking everyone to prove how fat they are? captcha for grandmas wiggle or calipers for my thigh thiccness to see how many lives i am qualified to save? is there a fuckin standard for this shit? oh yeah -at my damn doctor’s office, who is the only person whose opinion on my body counts right now. like omg as a porphyriac i’m happy not to burst into ...

qualities that made emilio who he was (for better, for worse, and for mid-tier reasons): 🔮 1. romantic (sometimes to a fault). emilio craved connection and intimacy — he genuinely wanted to be someone’s someone.  🧴 2. vain in a low-key way. he wasn’t flashy, but emilio cared deeply about his appearance: his signature space buns, polished nails, patterned shirts, and always those headphones. if you said he looked “cute,” he’d pretend to shrug — and then smile for 20 minutes. 📱 3. chronically distracted. a phone-checker during a streak. a texter mid-ritual. emilio wanted to be present, but often wasn’t. he lived halfway in the moment, halfway in emilioland™, his scented inner world of purple conditioner and soft indie music. 🐈‍⬛ 4. conflict-averse. he didn’t thrive in the drama-saturated air of ravenwood. he preferred to keep things calm, light, and pleasant — even when everyone else was literally mid-blood feud or summoning demons. 🍞 5. lovably contradictory. lactose intolerant...

History is gross. The Founding Fathers were grosser. I grew up in a certain commonwealth with the slogan: "You've got a friend in Pennsylvania." But in PA, we might be boiling up our friends and fam. Pennsylvania People Porridge is a delicacy here! We even grew up with real chopped up bits of Quakers in our oatmeal. This is the story of General "Mad" Anthony Wayne, the Revolutionary War hero. When most people die, they get a tombstone. General Wayne got a warm bath, a leaky crate, a wild-ass statewide tour, and two tombstones. The year was 1809. It was 13 years after Mad General Wayne died. Isaac Wayne, his son, arrives in Erie to pick up daddy’s bones, only to find that the general wasn’t just bones at all: he was suspiciously moist and meaty, having been slow-roasting in his coffin for the last thirteen years. Enter Dr. C. W. Wallace, a physician whose job wasn't processing the dead, but he had to do mortician duty. Yet our intrepid surgeon had a gleam in ...

these shimmering rainbow gems are all about enhancing those intuitive abilities — while maintaining boundaries. opal is like a hazmat suit for your emotions! common opals often outvalue the "precious" ones - that’s because a lot of so-called “fire opals” aren’t actually opals at all! mix opals with turquoise & you're getting emotional protection while developing psychic abilities that kick ass! at 5.5-6.5 mohs, opal is dripping beauty with the mysterious air element, & power of intellect, behind it. opals are perfect for carrying when you wanna connect with your inner wisdom w/o going full beetlejuice. its iridescent energy makes it ideal for those seeking emotional healing or magic. ethereal opal (may be opalite sorry) pendant necklace with intricate pewter medieval hammering metalwork detailing. a statement piece for a modern mystic. {pendants: 5-10 tcw each, idk how much pewter, vintage unknown artist} {there was also a red opal in bronze, same style tho, imma ...

i can tolerate people… i just need lots of meeee time my loyalty is as strong as a dplus pinot, i sure as hell am loyal if you dont mind id say im dripping with allegiance. got dumped a year ago and am still sad about it everyday. i cry a lot. learned you don't have to be hot or successful with women to be a fuckboy. careful whom you accommodate. some people will drop you when they get what they want from you anyway. it’s tough helping others climb up just to get ladder pulled… i cry a couple hours a day now. i just dont like to do it around anyone or talk about it. lately its gotten to be closer to 4 hours, so ive begun telling people that sometimes i am sad.

okay fellow ninjas — let’s discuss how to become a master of discreet vaping! 🥷 no tricks: forget the smoke tricks – unless you want everyone staring.🤫 mindful vaping: pay attention to your surroundings.  is the venue teeming with kids, old people, and/or an enclosed space? don't be *that* person. 👀 clean gear:  keep it sparkly. a clean vape is a stealthy vape. ✨ odor control: use odor eliminators.  nobody wants to smell your stank from a mile away. 💨 no hotboxing: seriously, don't hotbox the car.  it's not cool, especially if someone else is driving!

ordinarily i try to stay good-faith when talking to people, but this dude completely ignored everything i said, so i don’t feel that bad about taking the piss with my satirical overly-intellectual answers. the info dump didn’t bother me until he started his ted talk on what he expects from me sexually. after that i fell asleep and let the demons type for me. and look how nice he was! makes me wanna do more compliment sandwiches! XD queen: so do you speak english or only spanish?  entonces, ¿solo hablas inglés o solo español?  hallucinatory.reader: okay, that's great and very relieving that way i don't have to keep going back-and-forth translating lol  queen: i speak 99% english.  i typically just be like no ganas por traducir mofo, lo siento (i don't feel like translating, sorry).  hallucinatory.reader: lol oh ok well, i really appreciate it. i definitely look forward to getting to know you more and seeing where things go from there.  queen: my bio covers t...

rottenly ryfe had a beautiful life. never a worry, yet sobbed of such strife. he dreams he'll be king, but he'll never touch crown; a jester and fuckup and fuckfool and clown. if a glittering jewel were a delicate heart, it could melt just like candles from rottenly’s barf. his true self destroys all as he slips mightily, each time, infinite shards burst forth, razor-blind, free. the same breathsick pattern every time it unfolds. yet this time amber embers blaze ire, take hold.  as the fragile cocoon  of his rottenly play, ryfe now from his sickness, bescumbered each day.  battered and shattered to powder, to pieces nightly, never to mend ere my vengeance releases; enlightened, ignited  i take now my stand, word sword whirling worlds, mighty pen is in hand! hurling hate hard with the breath of my force, as i crook bejeweled fingies toward ancestral course. my blood pulses fury stripped of closure or grace. so here — get hexed from a bitch with no face. in the ears o...

More of Katelyn’s tips, filtered through my trials and errors: 1. Kick Underwater. If your feet are smacking the surface like pancakes, you’re wasting energy and annoying the crew. Submerged kicks = power. 2. Hips Over the Tail. Position your body so your hips are at the board’s back edge. Too far forward? You’ll nosedive. Too far back? You’re a slowpoke. 3. Elbows On Deck. Don’t let ‘em dangle. It kills balance and looks tragic. 4. Alternate Paddle Styles. For arm paddling, scoot forward so legs lift out. Nose slightly down. Clean, elegant movement. 5. Arm Placement = Direction. Going right? Right hand and arm on the deck’s right edge. Going left? Same on the left. It locks your rail in. Learn these. Drill them. Pool or ocean.

one of the hardest lessons i am learning as an artist is the art of letting go. i’m still trying. it's hard af. not every piece will be a masterpiece.  some of them aren’t worth finishing. i begin a lot of art, but i don’t finish everything - for all kinds of reasons. sometimes, a piece just doesn't work, no matter how much time and effort i pour into it.  sometimes i get fully sidetracked by life. sometimes i feel i’ve outgrown it, or i look back and go “dafuq? this is awful!” and that's all pretty normal for the artistic process.  it's okay to abandon a project, to walk away from a canvas that feels like a struggle.  that’s called cutting one’s losses. it doesn't mean i'm a failure; it means i'm choosing to focus my energy on something that sparks joy, something that ignites my passion.  the art of letting go is about freeing myself from the tyranny of perfectionism or the obligation to finish everything i start. sometimes a natural conclusion is: “our sto...

meditation is about being human. humans are not perfect. perfection is for assholes. your meditation process is going to be messy. thoughts will pop up. you’ll get bored. you’ll wonder why the fuck you’re even doing this. It’s all good tho. meditation isn’t always about achieving a mystical state of bliss; it’s about learning to sit with your shit without losing your mind. progress isn’t linear, and perfection is fake. you’re not a robot. you’re a human with a brain that sometimes feels like cocaine bear. meditation is just learning to get along with your friendly neighbors, the cocaine bear family, instead of trying to shoot them first.

Time for some boss-level maneuvering. As a noob to the asshole system, it’s best to seek a mentor from whom you can borrow power. Remember there’s no sharing with assholes, and you risk being set up if your mentor needs someone to take a fall. Choose your boss asshole carefully. Loyalty is a powerful tool, especially when it's strategic. Always defend your superiors, even when they're clearly wrong. This not only deflects blame but also paints you as a loyal and trustworthy individual. The more you cover for their mistakes, the more indispensable you become to the operation. And potentially the more rewards you can reap — but don’t count on that when dealing with assholes! Master the art of the vague, but convincing explanation. "There were unforeseen circumstances," works most of the time. Remember, a shrewd manipulator always has a ready excuse, a carefully constructed narrative to deflect any criticism. It's a win-win: you look loyal, they remain blissfully una...

  the “you’re doing great, bitch!” sticker? that was just for fun at first. i made it on a photo app. i wrote the message first and then designed it—and i was honestly shocked how well it came out. i wanted a festive and flowy font, something that looked as confident and playful as the words felt. i use bold fonts on art pieces when it makes sense. but sometimes, the art speaks louder than the text, so you have to let it. in this case, the font and color needed to feel like a little celebration. something loud and nice and silly, like a sticker you slap on your water bottle before a hard day. i like when a design feels like it’s cheering for you. color, font, layout—i don’t overthink them, but i do follow feeling. it’s about impact. i want the important words to pop. maybe mix a font or two, but never more than that unless i’ve got a big-ass reason.

the principle is enjoying the present — enjoy what you have while it’s here. the darker aspects of the hare's symbolism are highlighted during the time when darkness is most prevalent. as we know, the rabbits are harbingers of messages from the underworld, of life and of death as well. the veil between realms is thin; i practice protective rituals. burning black or blue candles with your usual spiritual work should help. this month’s superstition: burning sage on the eve of samhain wards off negative spirits and ensures a peaceful winter.

halloween's here, and phyllis is ready to party. this little bunny is about to unleash a horror show so terrifying you'll shit your pants and scream for your mommy. forget "rabbit rabbit," and prepare for your house to be turned into a portal to hell. halloween's frights are child's play compared to phyllis's fury. …. say "rabbit rabbit," or face phyllis's october onslaught, you fucking weirdos. {pictured: día de los muertos festival weekend at Hollywood forever cemetery 2022}