the big sick: sexually violent, emotionally stunted

I'm a fucking freak, okay? My best friend keeps lube in his car for a good goddamned reason. 

I absolutely hate many humans - but the ones I love have all kinds of crotch shapes: penii, vaginae, everything in between, cool-ass prosthetics, plastic lumps like barbie or ken, or even nothing. They fuck. We all fuck, mmkay. Even asexuals have intimate (be they sexy or be they platonic) things they like or don’t like. Intimacy.

So let's be real about sex. When is something TMI?

I am sex positive. I am good with whatever the fuck gender you are or aren’t, idc whatever the hell you’re attracted to, and whatever the shit you (and all consenting adult human partners) want to do to and/or with and/or for each other. Literally. Piss, shit, vom, and bleed on each other. Pretend to be chickens r8ping cows felching aliens & figging fetuses, like an interspecies erotica CNC LARP thing. Pop zits and use it as massage lotion, sex lube or anal/genital flavor toppings. Pull a narsty Steve Jones style deli orgy and share the optional mystery meal afterwards. Post it on insta. idgaf. In short what I told my siblings when babysitting: I dooooonnnttt careeeeeeee, have fucking fun, do whatever just don’t hurt anyone, don't get caught cuz I'm disavowing all knowledge, also leave me alone I’m writing.

However - if you’re making it your personality and literally the first thing you WANT people to see… if you’re using a visible tattoo as a call to action on a dating app? My ass gonna laugh at you sooooo fuckin hard. And that is fully and totally okay. Why? Because there’s a time and place, you assbutton, so read a motherfucking room already!!!!

When you permanently ink "YOUR THROAT HERE" on your goddamn hand, you're telling Earth exactly who you are: a juvenile pussy desperate for attention. It's not even edgy, it's fucking hilarious. You look like OnE oF tHe BaD kIdS on a Disney tween TV sitcom. {update: pic says he’s THIRTY what the fuuuukkkkk!}

I'm sure lots of us share your kinks, but still find that tattoo creepy and icky. Some people are like me — we don’t care, we see it as fake tourist stuff. We roll eyes, we swipe left (or in my case, match but not realize it was the same person… my bad). Some people might feel offended. Some might just think “psycho alert.” Perhaps hot-ass MILFs go “I’m all for freaky fun, but I don’t want my kids around someone who advertises violent sex preferences on visible body parts.”

On a similar note… how many peeps get triggered by your pic and say nothing to you? 25% of women are sexually assaulted. 1 in 6 men too. I bet you get mad at peeps for "aSsUmInG" you it’s serious, pissed that they don’t like your “joke”and then you wanna gaslight them for it too. Idiot. Pussy rapeculture logic just slays me sometimes. literally eat a dick. 🤣

I don't kink shame. Wanna grip your partner up, fine. But this tattoo is less 50 Shades of Grey, more “it’s not a phase, mommmmmm,” desperate need to play the bad boy while displaying micro peen energy. Grown-ass real dom guys don't need to advertise their sexual aggression to every man, woman, child, boss, and grandma who might accidentally glance at their hand. They're too busy actually being dominant at life, not LARPing it like a fucking loser.

Your tattoo is an also public confession of mental weakness, poor judgment, and lack of self-control. Again, I’m a freak, but I don’t share aaaaaaaaaaallllllllllll my personal fuckins with my everyone {except this blog, which exactly 0 people and 8675309 bots read}. So… I was direct with him and I hurt his feelings. 

When he was nice to my comment on the original post, I tried to be constructive back.) But later when I was nice about my not being into that — kid wants to do a 180 and call me ugly. {The man cannot possibly know what “assume” even means. It’s likely he just knows it’s a “mean” thing to do to people. Hah.} How utterly petty and just beyond weird.

Again: it’s weak and controlling. Wanna control something? Start with your temper, lolllll. Actual tough dudes prob be laughing their balls off at you in the REAL gc you’re not part of 😆🤣😆 (Can we get some actual normal tough guys responding to this please? How goddamned tryhard is this?)

It's a pathetic attempt to look badass. Badasses think you look like a fucking idiot. Like holy shit, kid. Take responsibility for your fashion choices and your stupid-ass tattoos. Everyone else fucking does, the whole damn world gets plenty of shit for conscious styling choices. Stop being a worm about your damn ink. People will not want to date you because of it sometimes. Buck up or get it removed.

Classic bully response -- "didnt like you anyway." Lolllllll Grow the fuuuuuuck up 🤣🤣🤣

YourScroteHere: {post of creepy tattoo}

U want me to be nice or rough

qu33ni3: I'm sure that'll make all of your dates feel very seen and special.

YourScroteHere: @qu33ni3 Hahaha I wouldn't know. Haven't gone on a date yet.

qu33ni3: Maybe the tattoo is scaring people off.




{You &YourScroteHere matched!}




YourScroteHere: Hey how's ur day going


qu33ni3: Sup kid! I don't have a car so I'll never bug you to fix mine. What's your fav kind of car?


YourScroteHere: Kid? Lol Yoo how old are u kid

YourScroteHere: Well, I can teach you how to fix a car? And my favorite car is my civic Ahha but I would love to have a Datsun 510 a GTR R32 a Mazda RX7

YourScroteHere: Anything else u wanna ask kid

qu33ni3: OMG I just realized you're the "your throat here" guy.


Qu33ni3: This isn't going to work for me so imma say bye. But thank you very much for your time.


YourScroteHere: Dam ok my bad for offending you


YourScroteHere: And you're right this isn't gonna work something tells me you don't look like how you look either way thank you for your time tho


qu33ni3: Did insulting the way I look make you feel better about this?


YourScroteHere: I wasn't insulting you love I was just making an assumption I mean, I could be wrong but it's all good


YourScroteHere: I'm not a rude guy to insult people you just basically insult to me because of my tattoo. but it's all good

{YourScroteHere ended the chat and you will not be able to message him.}