Did Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols Really Fuck a Sandwich?

let's address the sandwich. steve jones of the sex pistols denies the infamous story about tricking glen matlock into eating his jizz. instead, steve claims in his book lonely boy that he merely demonstrated his trademark masturbation techniques with bread. truth or fiction, this tasty anecdote serves the same purpose as my casual references to wanking (emotionally) over shumai and black rockstar. shocking honesty is rare, and it can create authentic connection… 

... OR, it creates pussies’ authentic discomfort with the truth.

jones documents having sex with his bandmates' girlfriends (and that includes nancy!!!) with the same matter-of-factness i describe the worst sex I have literally ever had in my entire life. i didnt even have time to fake an orgasm, the dude would fall asleep not caring if i'd even had one (the exact opposite of what was consistently being advertised, mind you). steve jones been judged for all sorts of bodily differences, particularly in his youth; i've also known a lot of sizeism as a fat person, even if i have lost (idk. an average of 140 lbs?) we've both been fucked over badly by people we've trusted, including abuse by parents. and we both love carbs (my gallons of rockstar energy drink... his dick-meat sandwiches).

our addictions differ. steve jones graduated from alcoholism to heroin, calling it upgrading from "the uber of addiction" to a "chauffeur-driven limo." i'm transparent about my issues. i will drink rockstar by the case and eat nutella from the jar if my porphyria smolders (i'm not a food addict, but my health issues can sometimes make me ache for a lil sugar). i'm honestly terrified of alcohol and opioids -- my grandfather died of liver cancer (liver and blood complications are how it goes), who ravage my fellow vampire counterparts). we can acknowledge these crutches without glamorizing them or running from them.

when steve jones received news of sid's death, he responded, "well, at least we'll sell some records now." i've always wondered if this was a remark he'd cooked up in his mind years before, a "just in case this happens" sorta quip. that's fully what people do when their minds are willing to go there.this mirrors my own dark humor. sometimes people develop coping mechanisms from trauma where conventional emotional responses no longer fit. fucked up situation = fucked up response. why doesn’t this make easy sense to people?

writers like steve and me (and maybe you!) feel compelled to share their uncensored thoughts because sanitized narratives fail people like us. 

our stories validate others surviving at society's edges and that’s important: fuck softening harsh realities with artificial sweetness, sometimes you need to take it straight from the source.

btw. if someone is wanking with their dick between bread… that is 100% having sex with a sandwich no matter how they deny it. 😂 so yeee, he totally fucked a sandwich!

NOW I wanna do more research on if he ate it. I'll check back another day with that exciting story.