💀 weirdgirl zine 💜

Because apparently the world is just a dick dropbox. 💜💜💜 I make things: apps, jewelry, words, art. I rescue rabbits. I’m always asexual with people I don’t know. I’m neurodivergent and am afraid of strange men. What I  don’t  do?  Entertain assclowns. So when some random creepsicle I barely knew (who had previously told the group chat he was married, by the way) slid into my Snapchat DMs with unsolicited pp pix  --  then panicked, lied, and had me kicked from two group chats to avoid getting exposed  --  I decided that this time,  this goddamn bullshit wasn’t gonna slide .  This random dude had no business sending me his ugly stupid penis. He wasn’t flirting. This wasn’t a “misunderstanding.” It was  sexual harassment  by a digital narcissist who got sooooo scared and butthurt when a stranger he objectified asked  why  he thinks she’d “like” his nudes  after she just posted about hating creeps o...

Act II:  The Gluteal Renaissance Act II unveils the dawn of posterior enlightenment. Early humans—perhaps while manspreading by the fire—discovered the potential for gluteus maximus enhancement. Evolution, ever the horny slot machine, began distributing wildly inconsistent glute allocations. Some strutted forth with Crotchular Realness™ that would make today’s fitness influencers weep-lunge in envy. Others, tragically under-gluted, were cast into the evolutionary spatula district—an existence defined by the unmistakable sound of blahhhhhhh. Thus emerged the sauuuuce bosssssses of gluteal development. These chosen ones flexed not only cheeks but social dominance. Their ascent was, in the strictest scientific sense, off the chizzain. Act III: The Future is Thicc’er Than You Think Fast-forward a few centuries and humanity has evolved again—not through struggle, but through sitting. Sedentary lifestyles birth a species molded by chairs: legs are optional, gluteal cushioning mandatory. ...

who approved this dumpster fire of an ad? a pervy slot machine pops up in the middle of a kids' game with the prompt “take off your bra.” dudes, who thought this was okay? even as a sweary perv-ass weirdo, this squicked me out. it’s beyond trashy and has zero fudge to give about basic decency. like, i get it, clickbait is a thing, but this is just happy horseshit."take off your bra" in the middle of a slots game? i mean, come on. the worst part? this ad popped up during a kids’ game. like, who exactly is this ad targeting? because it’s definitely not me. into the bonestripper it goes, and i hope it never comes back.  crapness rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (for being the worst thing i’ve ever seen)  did i download it? hell no (very very very tempted for more lolz tho!!)

1. Rodrigo – The Baby Carrot Spanish Speaker This walking HR violation introduced himself by calling his penis a  “baby carrot.”  Consent was a foreign language to him — yeah, he did a lot of uncool things… then he ghosted like the lowlife assbutton he is. You’d think someone this emotionally stunted would at least have a little crunch, but nerpppp — soggy & spineless, hardly a treat for this hungry bunny. 10/10 regret. Would block again. 2. Sad Sack Pancakes Imagine if a depressive IHOP menu item came to life & lied about having a dead wife while dripping syrupy sweet tears. This guy has a face like a stack of soggy pancakes, syrupy hair that begs for a rinse, & a butter-pat mystery spot that glistens with desolate greasy sorrow. He showed me “photos” of his “dead baby” — straight off Shutterstock over a year ago & HE STILL THINKS I BELIEVE IT! His trauma is about as real as his dating prospects. 3. Mark – The Snapchat Diva This man threw an actual tantrum bec...