Crotchular Realness™: Nudes from Another Dude Who Thinks the World Revolves Around His Junk
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I make things: apps, jewelry, words, art. I rescue rabbits. I’m always asexual with people I don’t know. I’m neurodivergent and am afraid of strange men.
What I don’t do? Entertain assclowns.
So when some random creepsicle I barely knew (who had previously told the group chat he was married, by the way) slid into my Snapchat DMs with unsolicited pp pix -- then panicked, lied, and had me kicked from two group chats to avoid getting exposed -- I decided that this time, this goddamn bullshit wasn’t gonna slide.
This random dude had no business sending me his ugly stupid penis. He wasn’t flirting. This wasn’t a “misunderstanding.” It was sexual harassment by a digital narcissist who got sooooo scared and butthurt when a stranger he objectified asked why he thinks she’d “like” his nudes after she just posted about hating creeps online.
Just for context: my lifespan is shorter than most because of a genetic disorder. I let people know it, since texting exhausts me. It means that I have less time, tons of work on my plate, and I feel like shit a considerable portion of the time. So I tend to dislike wang spam from dickholes who think their special important boners aren’t vile af to the average innocent bystander. If you’re not paying me and I don’t love you: for the love of poop, just FOAD yesterdamnday. Tell your crotch to quit texting me. I have shit to do.
So here it is: documented and archived for weirdgirls, femmes, queers, and all humans who are sick to fuck of these scumbags… or anyone who has or needs more empathy.
This man actively tried to silence me by banning me from groups where I hadn’t mentioned shit. Bullies stay powerful when their victims are silent. And this behavior is normalized — “mb” just washes it away, I guess.
But if you flash a dick-joke blogger, you’re providing content. So thanks, assclown.
If you send unsolicited sexts… we’re angry at the imposition. And some people have PTSD from being treated not-so-nicely in the past — so it’s really just not fucking cool without asking first.
You grab the popcorn... and I’ll pour the tea!
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Notes:
The only edits: I pixelated the images he sent (he deleted them later) and numbered the panels.
Also note: this dude told the group chat weeks prior he was “happily married.” He changed his mind later. 🤷♀️
Dramatis Personae:
me -- added him only because he said he was married. Never spoke again… until this.
cherrywaves369 -- what my friend Scar calls a digital… uhh, lemme spell it my censor-friendly method… a digital r8pist.
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{Trigger Warning: sexual harassment, gaslighting, assholery, unwanted nudes.}
{dig, if you will, the picture… of two gross nudes: 1 small, limp, flaccid weird curvy phallus kissing itself in mirror, & 1 posed to make a micropeen seem biggish. both have werewolf pubes & unhealthy-looking skin.}
cherrywaves369 DELETED A CHAT
me: Ew
me: Imma die now
cherrywaves369: Mb
cherrywaves369: :3
cherrywaves369: I thought you're gonna like it
me: You're a married man and you know I don't like that stuff.
Snapchat Notification: YOU TOOK A SCREENSHOT OF CHAT!
cherrywaves369: Wut I'm not married
me: I literally never consented to this
cherrywaves369: Don't expose me please
me: I'm sickened honestly because I thought you were a friendly person and I trusted you. Why would you do that?
cherrywaves369: I deleted them
me: That's fine, I have them
me: Idc
me: Why would you do that?
cherrywaves369: I'm sorry :c
me: That doesn't make it okay, that's fucking sexual harassment rapey horseshit
cherrywaves369: I feel like that guy (censored) rn
me: What on earth makes you think I WOULD EVER EVER LIKE OR WANT THAT FROM YOU. Did I ever once indicate sex or romantic feelings with you even 1 time? Tell me why you did it.
me: You ARE THAT GUY. You are literally the problem.
cherrywaves369: I'm so sorry 😭😭😭😭
me: WHY did you think I would like it!!!!! I ASKED YOU WHAT I DID TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT WAS WHAT I WANTED. DID I ASK TO SEE
me: DID I SAY SEXY AND ROMANTIC THINGS
cherrywaves369: Idc it's my first time sending meat pics It went wrong
me: OR WAS I BEING NORMAL MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS N YOU DECIDED THATS WHAT YOUWOULD FUCKING LIKE. You didn't fucking think about what I LIKED. You thought "my boner pleases ME so much imma send it to this autistic girl minding her business."
Snapchat Notification: YOU TOOK 3 SCREENSHOTS OF CHAT!
cherrywaves369: I didn't know you're autistic
me: Does it matter? NOPE.
me: Answer me. You thought I'd like it - why? Why is your random ugly dick special? Why do you think I would like it? What did I do and say to make you believe that's cool and fine to show me.
cherrywaves369: Idk
me: that's what I thought. Nothing. You just decided to sexualize a person who doesn't want to be sexualized. Thanks.
cherrywaves369: I didnt sexualized u
me: literally no woman I know wants MORE strange men sending them their dicks.
me: sending me dick pics because you think I will like them is sexualizing me.
cherrywaves369:me: How
me:Snapchat Notification: YOU TOOK A SCREENSHOT OF CHAT!
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Crotchular Clown Quotes: Greatest Shits, Vol. 1
“It’s my first time sending meat pics.”
No it’s not. For better results next time, don’t. 🤣
“Mb.”
Means: “My bad for behaving like a clearance-bin predator.”
Fuck outta here with your Great Value Brand Diet-Ass Remorse.
“Don’t expose me please.”
Bro, you exposed yourself.
“I thought you’d like it.”
Why tho? Why? Was it the part where you read my post about hating sex creeps?
“I didn’t sexualized u.”
You sent your dick. To someone who doesn’t know you. You, sir, DID sexualized me — and committed fapping-ass grammatical murder while doing it.
Bullies thrive in silence. They freak out when called out — so they should avoid people who love to write dick jokes. I’ll censor the full username before posting to Medium.
💜 Assclowns are universal. But laughter heals.
Got a creepsicle quote that belongs in the hall of shame? I’ve got popcorn left, so I wouldn’t mind hearing about it! 🍿
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