still deliciously dark

still cool and damp outside, occasional rain tapping the windows. slightly milder toward the end tho, still wintery but starting to ease — like the weather’s tryna decide if it wants to commit to spring or nah 🌧️ still February. still deliciously dark. i moved my workspace to a different table but it’s the same clutter, same tools. i’ve started making little travel bead kits for friends. it helps me feel useful. candy elle called just to vent about gossip at the castle. i told her people who gossip are compensating for lack of their own lives. she laughed, said she’d quote me. writersgroup asked if i’m still awake. “it’s three days later,” i wrote back. “here i am, conscious as a waking person.” that’s how it feels: days blur. nights are heavier. i hold beads in my palm like worry stones. sometimes i think about my ex. not in a longing way, just in a trauma way. then i drill another hole and keep going.