bad ad: royal match!
how many times have we seen a match-3 game with a slightly different coat of paint? royal match is somehow the dumbest yet. we’ve got king robert, a flabby basic-bitch white bread slice doused in mayo, stumbling through yeetsome situations like it’s his full-time job - and ig it is? like, who even let this shitty king rule? he’s probably on some regicide most wanted list because, let’s be real, nobody likes this bitch. the assassin babe watching the ad, though… she can snatch the crown and become queen because she’s clearly doing all the work anyway. the cute dog almost convinced me... but nah, i’m not about to get tackled by royal assassins.
crapness rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (for happy horseshit alone)
did i download it? nah, but king robert’s dog is cute af and i was momentarily tempted.

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