Phyllis: A Real Fucking September Surprise
don’t be stupid, say “rabbit rabbit” on the first of this month… or september's back-to-school blues will be nothing compared to phyllis's back-to-school *bruises*. skip there "rabbit rabbit," and your school supplies will mysteriously be replaced with used condoms (gross inside AND out!), your homework will be eaten, and phyllis will terrorize your teachers until they fail your sorry asses.
say "rabbit rabbit," or face phyllis's september shenanigans! forget "rabbit rabbit," and prepare for a month of pure, unadulterated hell.
say the words, and she might throw you a bone with a cursed amulet that attracts horny stray cats. cute, but also a little terrifying… so beware, you assholes.

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