grief is not always what you expect

sometimes grief looks like tears & sadness. that's normal for some. for others, it's rage, numbness, or even weird little moments of laughter. but for most of us, it's a freaky hybrid... a mix of sharp, icy pain & moments of odd calm that don't fit the script.

in my body, grief doesn't start inside the stomach but around it, like icy, sharp fingers pressing on the outside... creepy, skeletal hands massaging my gastric shell. it's uncomfortable & weird & not the kind of pain most people talk about.

grief also makes me fluctuate between feeling hollow & oddly alive. it's the thing that reminds me that grief isn't just sadness... it's a whole wild, messy experience that you don't get to control. & that's okay. just processing. you will learn to control it.