Phyllis and Her Fucking Firestorm of Patriotism

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july’s heat is nothing compared to hellfire - but neither comes

close to phyllis's fiery temper. she requires all humans to say RABBIT RABBIT on the first of every month!! 

if you fail to say "rabbit rabbit," your summer vacation will be a disaster. your sunscreen will fail, your cocktails will be watered down, and phyllis will make sure you're constantly surrounded by annoying mosquitos. 

say "rabbit rabbit," or face phyllis's july inferno! don't say "rabbit rabbit," and prepare for house fires, exploding fireworks, and a public display of projectile diarrhea that'll make you the laughingstock of your entire fucking neighborhood (again). 

 say the words, and she might "bless" you with a demonic American flag that flaps ominously even when there's no wind. 

 festive.  right, you fucking idiots?

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