on my virgin California surf adventures

It was 6:00 AM in Corona Del Mar, California. The weather was mostly cloudy, 57°F (14°C), with a light south wind at 2 km/h. I was on my 3’ 8” Lepus, a Morey Big Kahuna board. I’d been landlocked for over a year since moving here and just had two back surgeries last month, so I was way out of shape. But damn, this first surf session back was intense.

When I stepped on the sand, my feet started sinking because I’m fat and can’t stay in one spot too long. So I basically had to run to get to a good spot. It was sunrise, so the sun wasn’t bad yet, but still — I hate the sun.

Paddling out felt invigorating but scary, because the tide was creepier than I remembered — stronger and it made me nervous. Then the waves started smashing me. I screamed “WOOOOOOOOOO!” and grabbed onto Lepus, holding on tight and didn’t fall off. The waves gently pushed me (with a few shaky rolls) back to the shallows.

I caught my first wave back. While I was flipping, I thought I was going to die and that it wasn’t worth it. But now it’s a great story and a fab memory.

My heart felt like it was going to explode. My hair didn’t get wet except from the massive sweat. I got worked, but had no wipeouts. I ate sand for a week after that session.

Oh, and before I went in, I did mystical runes on the board in Sex Wax to keep the sharks away. I’m no fool.