green eggs and dick

if my relationships were a dr seuss book it'd be called "oh the places you'll never get to stick it" - featuring such hits as:

⭐️ that bondage mechanic with dangerous dogs & the girlfriend with the same first name as him (confusing but they were chill)

⭐️ the hot-assed flat earth crybaby: jizzle's nemesis, this conspiracy weirdo who was in loooooove with her at the Professor Flex parties. hurly shirt, she shut him down again and again!

⭐️ that one dude whose family belonged to the chruch of no phones, needed his mom to drive us to buy condoms. spoiler alert: religious trauma and mommy issues dry out a lady's nether region. 

this is all part of dealing with dysfunctional relationships and navigating toxic dating experiences. what helps  is remembering that we are all the same basically - our priorities often differ in order: sometimes peeps don’t mesh and cannot compromise boundaries and offer/demand. that is fully okay.

we all have those struggles to overcome relationship baggage… it’s never easy. it’s also not so easy to manage intimacy issues from childhood trauma, but i try to cope with problems while dating by finding humor in the distaster. it’s gotta be there somewhere, right?