freshly milked newz: tiger's blood, snow cone of doom

okay get this. dead milkman discussed weed & i recommended tiger’s blood, which is my shit. and tasty as fuck. it’s relaxing, it’s uplifting. it’s also got a fruity scent, and the manufacturer uses graphics that look like a tiger’s blood snow cone. it’s a banger. so maybe it’s named for that? just a guess, kiddo.

he was scandalized. “they get weed names from its side effects,” he idiotsplained to me. he thought tiger’s blood sounded like an anxiety nightmare that would make you all crazy. i had to explain that it’s named after a snow cone, not, like, an actual side effect. relax.

he said he doesn’t smoke much but wants to learn more. which, fine. i’ll help. he asked good questions.

we talked about movies. he said he had an urge to watch spaceballs, like he didn’t see my hair-color pic chart with one of me wearing my 3d printed stainless steel vermeil schwartz. he really thought he was subliminally fooling my ass. heh.

also found out dead milkman a big x guy. like, the kind who has opinions™ and retweets armchair takes about kindness and emotional literacy but also lowkey thinks he invented the idea of being leftist in a mohawk. he’s one of those. not terrible, not massively bro-y, but def believes he’s the only one in good pizza city who reads bell hooks and eats butter chicken pizza.

then he said the most adorbz thing: “i’ve really been looking forward to hearing from you all day.” that hit me in my cold bitch-ass weirdgirl heart. like it’s just so nice when peeps are niceeeee, its not that hard, but it feels rare.

i don’t need the omg we’re soulmates bullshit, i’m not looking for stupidness. but it’s nice to be anyone’s reason to look forward. maybe we could be homies: that’s a solid win in app land. huzzah! and maybe he’s got some insights into the 3d printed ai mechanical cow situation.