freshly milked newz: the milkman cometh
i started talking to dead milkman a couple weeks ago. his bio is at least not “need a slobble to gobble my knobble” energy, and thank fuck for that. it wasn’t “just ask” or “here for a good time, not a long time,” either: both of which are instant swipes to HELL NO. his was generic like: “no main goals, just checking the app out.” the bar is buried under 1234567 layers of trash, but dead milkman cleared it.
he has the big 3: good spelling (hot), cool hair, and a superficial level of empathy (required). he’s not bad at all: dark hair, cute teeth, smartish, lowkey self-aware. i mean, he doesn’t know i’m clocking his ass, but that’s on him. his messages are polite and respectful, not the usual “sup bby, u tryna?” horseshit. no inappropriate comments. just polite.
he works at a dairy farm, boxing milks of all types. when i asked if vegan milks were just 3d printed by ai mechanical cows, he actually rolled with it, now it’s kind of a little inside joke.
he’s tall which is allegedly conventionally hot, so bully ig? lives in good pizza city, which means good pizza times and soosh may loom in the future. has two baby mamas and, allegedly, zero serious relationships. 😬 but he wasn’t gross about it, and he’s in therapy... low bar — but again: bar is subterranean.
ehhhh idk if i like him quite yet. he seems pretty smart and nice, and nice smart peeps are always cute and good, and you know… nice. i like that he’s not a flaming porphyria-tier rubber toilet fire who’s gonna cost me money. so far.
he has the big 3: good spelling (hot), cool hair, and a superficial level of empathy (required). he’s not bad at all: dark hair, cute teeth, smartish, lowkey self-aware. i mean, he doesn’t know i’m clocking his ass, but that’s on him. his messages are polite and respectful, not the usual “sup bby, u tryna?” horseshit. no inappropriate comments. just polite.
he works at a dairy farm, boxing milks of all types. when i asked if vegan milks were just 3d printed by ai mechanical cows, he actually rolled with it, now it’s kind of a little inside joke.
he’s tall which is allegedly conventionally hot, so bully ig? lives in good pizza city, which means good pizza times and soosh may loom in the future. has two baby mamas and, allegedly, zero serious relationships. 😬 but he wasn’t gross about it, and he’s in therapy... low bar — but again: bar is subterranean.
ehhhh idk if i like him quite yet. he seems pretty smart and nice, and nice smart peeps are always cute and good, and you know… nice. i like that he’s not a flaming porphyria-tier rubber toilet fire who’s gonna cost me money. so far.
Comments
Post a Comment