💾 the dirty qwerty, #001

 💾 the dirty qwerty, #001: fuck is still a problem…

imma fuck off early

❤️‍🔥

what i typed:

“fuck off early”

what autocorrect saw:

“duck off early”

“back off early”

“suck off early”

“luck off early”

🧠 keyboard logic:

• f → d/s/b/l: you bump one key and enter an alternate reality.

• u → u: the loyal vowel.

• c → c: she shows up on time.

• k → k: fine if you make it. otherwise? hello “h.”

but what the hell is a luck off? sounds like a competitive game show where contestants cry in the rain.

and suck off early? ma’am. we’re not in that kind of office. or like maybe we are. but never after lunch.

and “duck off early” is just a cartoon with a briefcase, waddling toward the exit. but let’s be real. all ducks do remind me of my beloved friend, ducky, who autocorrect occasionally calls Fucky. 😀

autocorrect doesn’t trust us. it wants us soft, palatable, HR-safe. 

but sometimes the right word is fuck. and no amount of rubber-ducking is gonna convince me otherwise.

this episode was brought to you by the letter F — for fuck, obviously. ❤️‍🔥

{pictured: stainless steel F ring from eBay; sterling silver clasping-hands Limoges Julian Rappaport ring, designed and made for a Russian royal court member.}