dancing in the shadows

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living with porphyria means embracing outer darkness, yet inner light. 

the sun might be my enemy, but the darkness is my super cool-ass bff. 

i transform pain into poetry, vulnerability into strength, and the burgundy loaf lifestyle into a wicked source of dark humor. 

my happiness is a testament to my resilience, a defiant roar in the face of chronic illness, and a disturbing fuck-you to everyone who thinks sick weird people shouldn’t be happy. eat my shorts, kids. 😀

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October’s Principle of Living in the Moment

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the principle is enjoying the present — enjoy what you have while it’s here. the darker aspects of the hare's symbolism are highlighted during the time when darkness is most prevalent. as we know, the rabbits are harbingers of messages from the underworld, of life and of death as well. the veil between realms is thin; i practice protective rituals. burning black or blue candles with your usual spiritual work should help. this month’s superstition: burning sage on the eve of samhain wards off negative spirits and ensures a peaceful winter.
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upcycled gemstone protection jewelry

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These ethically sourced rainbow crystal amulets that I like to make are often crafted from rescue beads. I love using them to show diversity, resilience, & the beauty of each unique detail. Each shamanic charged healing talisman is energetically infused with transformative intentions, from me to the stones. When I create, I try to remember that upcycled gemstone protection jewelry pieces are more than just accessories… they're stories of resilience. Each is made from pieces discarded, overlooked, or deemed imperfect. I source these ethically, often finding them at auctions or even in the clearance bins on jewel excursions! ⭐️ Ethical sourcing is important. ⭐️ I cleanse & charge each bead individually, infusing them with positive energy. ⭐️ The energetic process is a beautiful ritual to charge the stones . ⭐️ My handmade talismans are a labor of love, transforming discarded pieces into something beautiful & meaningful. The crystal healing affirmation talismans add a touc...
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the perfectly imperfect mole in the moon

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there's a moon tattooed on my left arm – about the size of a roma tomato, maybe. right in the middle of it is mole i used to hate. the dermatologist sad “we can’t remove it you’ll have a scar” but i didn’t care - a scar is preferable to a rabbit turd oh my skin. my mom used to pick at it & wipe it like it was dirt that’d just come off. but the tattoo artist did what i asked. he didn't cover the mole; he incorporated it. made it part of something cute. it's a crescent moon, actually, & the mole is right in the middle of a flower perfectly in the curve almost like it was meant to be there (because it was meant to be there - built the fuck around it.) it's a metaphor, ig. those parts of ourselves we want to hide or hate? they can be transformed. integrated. made art. the mole isn't a flaw anymore – it's part of the design, part of my story. we start with what we start with. we get what we get, but most of us are indeed upset. it’s up to us to this life what...
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tarot: the star

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tarot card: the star -- hope, renewal, inspiration. it’s my birthday month. phyllis was puppy-like last winter. now spring has sprung and she’s mellow -- not full feral anymore. what bun summer?  when she’s mad, she thumps. when she loves something -- like loops or a pet -- she lets me make much of her. kinda. ish. her current name is cheez steak. it’s very meta.  still fighting the toxic glow-up culture -- the “love yourself” bullshit that makes pain a performance. fuck the pressure to be positive all the time. love yourself, yeah, buuutttttt hate the shit that’s real, too. and don’t fake a smile to fit in with the idiot brigade. smile for real or frown for real.  the ring i wear is named richard starkey. it’s a pavé scarab -- a dung beetle -- sacred symbol of creation from destruction. ✨ mystical poop magicks. ✨  huzzah. i can see.  zoom calls leave me utterly drained -- one day, after suppressing so much frustration i felt like i was on the ed...
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