the big sick: batpoo’s baby dick tantrum

batshit crazy with zero provocation. also his real name rhymes with his nickname so i kinda love that.

there i was, sipping my rockstar black (the delicious satanic sugar one!!) while browsing on the apps, and hello what's this? some dude messaged me with the standard "what's up?"

i replied with something wee and cute, but when i didn't j1zz over his basic convo skills, the man got irked. deadass, i could feel the blueborlz emanating through my screen.

when i tried to kindly dismiss him with "best of luck!" he went from bristol scale 4 to straight-up corker. his messages kept coming like a noah's ark – in pairs – claiming i was being "unfair." blahblahblah. this dumbledore dropped a metric fuckton of messages, each one stunting the wizard hat harder than the last.

by message 20, he was full beetlejuice – demanding my attention like i owed him some kind of gfe. when i wouldn't bite, he went "wahw!" like a true poop stain on the moon.

the creepsicle couldn't take a hint, so i mentally raised my almighty fingy of gorrrd. i blocked him faster than you can say "see you next tuesday!” huzzah for block buttons! this piece of assbust had stanky vibes, and i was over it.




batpoo: What's up?




Queen: The sky ;)




batpoo: Wow what a smart move




Queen: Its hard thinking of funny responses sometimes, sorry. Maybe you can think of a good one, and I can steal it. 😂




batpoo: I would rather you not steal from me 😂




Queen: Okay. You drive a hard bargain. How much do you charge?




batpoo: I don't charge anything. The price is your commitment. If you're in, you give everything. If not, don't waste your time or mine.




Queen: Okay! Best of luck to you! 💜




batpoo: What do you mean? Best of luck?




Queen: It means good luck?




batpoo: No fucking shit but you don't wanna talk to me




Queen: Like... On your journey through life. 🙂




batpoo: To me, you just sounded like you didn't wanna talk to me




Queen: I don't anymore, which is why I wished you luck on your journey. You seem kinda mean.




batpoo: You don't even know who I am




Queen: That's true, you're a stranger.




batpoo: Yeah, you can't judge a book by its cover




batpoo: And that's what I'm feeling right now is I'm being judged




Queen: Scroll up and see how you're talking to me. It's not very kind.




Queen: It's okay, some people just don't mesh.




batpoo: I don't think I've been mean to you at all




Queen: Okay.




batpoo: What did I particularly say that was wrong?




batpoo: I only said the F word once I didn't drop it 1 million times




batpoo: I'm trying to understand you here so I would appreciate it a lot if you did some emphasis a little bit on that




Queen: Lines 2, 4, and 6. That's early on so it's not the best first impression.




batpoo: I think you just misunderstanding me that's the problem here




batpoo: There isn't any rudeness at all whatsoever




Queen: Perhaps you're right.




batpoo: You see if I was sending a voice message it would be different because you could hear the tone of my voice




Queen: Yeah maybe




batpoo: The thing is with text. You can't really understand what people are trying to portray unless you ask them.




Queen: I've heard that somewhere before




batpoo: It's pretty common for people to misunderstand one another




batpoo: Im misunderstood all the time so I get it




Queen: Ye




batpoo: Yes so I would like to ask for you to have a little faith in me please




Queen: Faith in you for what exactly?




batpoo: Because I want you to know that I'm not a mean person




batpoo: I don't mean any harm in any way possible




Queen: I don't owe anyone faith and extra chances. Every person I've ever allowed close to me has abused me to the point where I am never going to heal.




Queen: The world sucks and people are going to judge you whether you like it or not.




Queen: Sorry though, it does suck.




Queen: So as I said earlier, good luck on your journey through life.




batpoo: What exactly makes you think that I'm gonna be like them?




batpoo: Like, you know that's not really fair at all




Queen: I didn't say you were or weren't, I just said I don't owe strangers a thing.




batpoo: It just seems like you have a problem against me




batpoo: Like I mean, I wasn't really doing anything wrong just making conversation




Queen: Against you? Nah not particularly




batpoo: You just took my words in the wrong way




batpoo: I mean, I thought you liked me to be honest, I seen that you liked me and my profile




batpoo: So I'm kind of confused on that




Queen: Ok




batpoo: You know I've been trying to be really nice here and you just kind of act really rude




Queen: In what way?




batpoo: In a way of like you're not giving a crap about what I say




batpoo: When I have not really said anything, particularly mean to you at all




Queen: If that's how you see it, okay.




batpoo: Maybe because it's the truth?




batpoo: You see what I'm saying




Queen: I def see it.




batpoo: You see what?




Queen: what you're saying is




batpoo: I haven't even done anything




batpoo: What im saying is that I am just trying to have a conversation




batpoo: That's all im saying




Queen: right




batpoo: It's all I wanted was to have a simple friendly conversation







batpoo: I know what I said




batpoo: I just don't get why you're so offended by it




batpoo: All I said was smart move as in that's very clever I didn't call you a smart ass or anything like that




batpoo: I never called you anything derogatory I never said anything wrong to you




batpoo: You're just very judgmental towards me and I really dislike that




Queen: You're making so many assumptions. It's wild dude




batpoo: Why do you not have a sudden to talk to me now though? That's just really weird




Queen: Wdym?




batpoo: All I said was what's up and then you just started getting upset at me like what?




Queen: what's "have a sudden"?




batpoo: I just think it's really confusing how I wasn't really doing anything wrong to you




batpoo: Like I was just trying to have a conversation




Queen: yeah




batpoo: I didn't see the part where I got upset tho




batpoo: "You seem kinda mean"




batpoo: Like what




batpoo: Nothing I said was mean




Queen: okay




batpoo: You see what I'm saying




Queen: I def see it.




batpoo: You see what?




Queen: what you're saying is




batpoo: I haven't even done anything




batpoo: Is that really a hard thing?




batpoo: Being civil







batpoo: Like why do you not wanna talk to me?







batpoo: I simply don't get it




batpoo: I don't get it at all




batpoo: You seem like one of those really complicated people




Queen: you're the one ranting but go on




batpoo: You don't have to listen to me you could've ignored me a long time ago, but you haven't




Queen: like you're legit angry here and all I did was say your earlier messages seemed "kinda mean"




batpoo: I'm not angry




batpoo: I'm really confused as to why you said that




batpoo: I'm just confused because I don't want to be misunderstood




Queen: you deny being angry but continue to push for engagement and a reaction.




batpoo: I'm relaxing. I'm just trying to talk to you.




Queen: feels like you're downplaying the previous rantings and persistent questioning




batpoo: I'm not downplaying anything. I'm just filtering out the noise to get to the part that actually matters. My feelings are apparently Not one of those parts according to you




Queen: when a person is dismissive of my feelings I find I am less motivated to consider theirs.




batpoo: Yeah, because emotional reciprocity is such a hallmark of maturity.




batpoo: News flash: the world doesn't care about our feelings, and neither do most people. We can either get over it or stay in a little pity party.




Queen: continued attempts to be dismissive, and now with belittlement on the side. yummy.




Queen: I quite agree with you though, which is why I haven't bothered engaging much outside of that. I'm not really inclined to bother.




Queen: you've been doing lotsa pity party with that whole "I'm so judged" mentality.




{bloqueado}