demisexual dating struggz

dating apps are the pepsi establishments of the internet. but as a demisexual? fucking nightmare fuel, honestly. imagine walking into a room full of dudes screaming into your face about their very special important boners & you're just standing there like, "aren’t we supposed to ask what bands do you like or something?"

it's a constant battle between wanting connection & being completely sickened & repulsed by the people - because strangers are sickeningly unappealing to me - but also grossinated by the utter shallowness of it all. swiping left & right when 90% of profiles are blank? it feels so... transactional. & that’s because for most dudes, it is. peeps are interchangeable & the real me is meaningless. 🖤

then there's the explaining. "demisexual? what's that?" ugh. so now i’m the sex ed teacher face of demisexuality tryna educate people who are only asking cuz they (might) wanna fuck. like really - google a thing. & even when they *do* understand, it doesn't always translate into genuine connection. 💜

but you keep trying, because you're a goddamn writer, 

you have to write about it. you have to explore the complexities of love, sex, & connection in a world that's obsessed with instant gratification & gives 0 shit about someone’s inner self. 🩶

and you learn, and you heal, and you hurt…but the world is so vast and there’s so many ways to connect with somebody… 🤍

so you heal some more,

and you keep trying. ❤️‍🩹