January: Phyllis’s Fucking New Year’s Nightmare

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RABBIT RABBIT, GODDAMNIT!

happy fucking new year, you miserable sacks of shit!

phyllis, the fuzzy harbinger of doom, is here, and your resolutions are already toast.

think "rabbit rabbit" is some cute little superstition? think again. forget it, and prepare for a month of pure, unadulterated misery courtesy of phyllis. 

explosive diarrhea in public? check. wardrobe malfunctions requiring both priest and therapist? double check. a tax audit that'll leave you weeping in a puddle of your own fear piss and regret shit? triple goddamn check. 

 phyllis will turn your new year's eve into a night of explosive bodily functions and utter humiliation. this isn't a suggestion, you pathetic fucks—it's a command. say "rabbit rabbit" on the first, or face her wrath!

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